24-year-old hides partner in shared apartment, gets offended when roommate jokes about her 'secret boyfriend': 'A dude walks out of her room looking like he just respawned in The Sims'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 26, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

As with every kind of relationship, the foundation of being a good roommate is communication. The trade-off that is made between living with others and living alone is that you do not get the same kinds of freedoms, and you have to let people know if there is going to be a change in circumstances that will affect the experience of shared living.

One of the most common issues that arises with this is the problem of having guests. On the one hand, it is important to accept that when you have roommates, they may have friends and romantic partners visiting the house now and then. On the other hand, everybody who lives there should know about this, and these visitors should not be overstaying their welcome. It is no surprise that visitors can be a common source of tension between roommates, especially when they are not told about them in advance.

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  • 01

    AITA for announcing that my roommate has a 'secret boyfriend'… while he was hiding in our apartment?

    I (25F) live with my roommate "T" (24F). She's great overall clean, pays bills on time, chill but she's super private about her dating life. Totally fine, I respect that. But recently I started noticing... signs. A mystery hoodie on the couch. Two coffee mugs in the sink when I know she didn't have friends over. Also: my snacks mysteriously disappearing faster than usual 00
    via mlk_random
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10534110976
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One woman faced this issue when her roommate acquired a boyfriend and didn't tell her about it. The problem arose when she obviously had this man in the apartment, but wasn't informing the person that she lived with.

    This situation came to a head when the woman hosted a game night with friends, where they joked about the roommate having an imaginary boyfriend. This caused the man to appear from her room, and for the roommate to complain to her in private that she felt humiliated. She wanted to know if she had done something wrong.

  • 03
    So anyway, we're having people over for a little game night. Nothing wild, just friends and wine. T didn't mention she had plans, so I assumed she'd join or just chill in her room. Midway through the night, someone jokingly asks, “T, when are we finally gonna meet your imaginary boyfriend?" and I, being a clown, say, "Oh, he's here. Probably hiding in her room eating my Oreos again." Cue awkward laughter... then silence... then a VERY real dude walks out of her room looking like he just respawne
    via mlk_random
  • 04
    Turns out he was in her room the whole time. She hadn't told anyone he was staying over. She pulls me aside and says I "humiliated” her and made her look sneaky in front of all our friends. But like... I didn't know he was LITERALLY in there at that moment. And also... if you've got a whole man camped out in the apartment, maybe give your roommate a heads-up?
    via mlk_random
  • 05
    DOW
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06

    Commenters were suspicious of the roommate's secrecy.

    grayblue_grrl You aren't wrong. Men sneaking in and out of apartments are scary. She's humiliating herself by being so weird about it. NTA
    via grayblue_grrl
  • 07
    BestAd5844 I agree. What would have happened if OP went into the kitchen for a drink in the middle of the night and there was some random dude there? | wouldn't not have been sticking around before hightailing it out of there and, most likely, calling the police. There are some serious safety and personal space issues. OP's roommate is entirely disrespectful for repeatedly sneaking and hiding her boyfriend without telling OP. She can keep her private life private and still have a conversation ab
    via BestAd5844
  • 08
    henrykimzgh Exactlyyy. It's not even about outing her, OP just made a joke and got caught in her weird secrecy. Having someone secretly crashing in a shared space is wild. Roommates need basic transparency, not full-on stealth mode.
    via henrykimzgh
  • 09
    Agitated-Stress870 Sounds more like he lives there, and that's why he hides.
    via Agitated-Stress870
  • 10
    rapid-mind02 The way he just popped out like it was nothing... that's not a guest move, that's "I've been living here" energy.
    via rapid-mind02
  • 11
    PuffTwirl Absolutely this. OP, it sounds like he's not just a guest anymore. If he's hiding from the people who actually pay rent, that's a red flag all on its own. You didn't "expose" anything, he exposed himself by literally creeping out of a bedroom like a Sims NPC mid-party.
    via PuffTwirl
  • 12
    Intelligent-Jump1823 It is very I weird for you to not know there is a man you have never met in your living space. NTA, but I wouldnt want anyone on my space | hadn't been formally introduced to. How COULD you have humiliated her if you didn't even know your joke was more truth than fiction? You didn't even have the tools to know what you were saying could be embarrassing.
    via Intelligent-Jump1823
  • 13
    New Hippo_1246 Introduced and vetted. We're going to be sharing the same bathroom ffs.
    via New_Hippo_1246
  • 14
    Global-Fact7752 I think its hilarious..she needs to gtf over herself. What's behind all the secrecy? Very wierd.
    via Global-Fact7752
  • 15
    themcp I would tell her "I really don't care if I humiliated you, you had someone hidden in my home and didn't even tell me. He leaves, right now, and he doesn't come back unless I know about it."
    via themcp
  • 16
    Alive Education_3785 Also, wouldn't she be the one humiliating her own boyfriend by being ashamed of him and forcing him to hide? Unless he's the one who wants to hide while entering someone else's home which would be an even bigger problem.
    via Alive_Education_3785
  • 17
    VersaRapterDicc You're not the a_h_le for making a joke and then him exposing himself she could've lied and then talk to you about it later but also I do want to point out that she's jeopardizing your safety by not actually telling you that he's there
    via VersaRapterDicc
  • 18
    GoodGrief1025 Nta. Like does she not realize that as a woman have an unknown man going in and out in your home is terrifying? Like seriously I'd be upset at her for being so inconsiderate. She could have at least introduced him to you so youd know who's going in and out isnt dangerous.
    via GoodGrief1025
  • 19
    Mulewrangler You need to meet him and ok when he's going to be there. And stop eating your food. NTA. How were you supposed to know?
    via Mulewrangler
  • 20
    Sea-131313 She's definitely the weird one in this situation. I think it's time you find another roommate. Let it be known up front that it's two ppl name on the lease. Guest that stay more in than 14 consecutive days needs to pay rent
    via Sea-131313
  • 21
    Doggedart NTA If she is inviting people into your home, she should be checking with you every single time.
    via Doggedart
  • 22
    Spiritual_Ad_7162 NTA. No. She doesn't get to play the victim here. He's sneaking around, stealing food, and she didn't even have the decency to give you a heads up. Your comments made her look sneaky because her actions are sneaky!
    via Spiritual_Ad_7162

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relationships roommates apartment boyfriend aita friends room reddit thread Reddit hiding
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